Teaching children social skills

It may be easier to describe and recognize a socially competent adult. There are certain values and behaviours that are expected of adults in order for them to fit into their society. Adults must be cooperative, have a sense of civic duty, be able to communicate and get along with others, among other things. It may not be so easy to recognize a socially competent child. Or what is expected of the child may look different. But the social skills a child needs are fundamentally the same as the ones adults need. In addition, it is important to teach these skills very early. Socially competent children will surely grow up to be socially competent adults. Because of the increasing violence in the schools and in the homes around the world, more and more efforts are being made to develop social skills programmes to be taught in the schools. There are numerous Social Skills programmes (called by as many different names) that are helpful.

A summary of the social skills that should be included in any programme follow. These skills can be divided into four main categories.

Category 1. How to communicate positively. Skills include:

· Communicating positively through accurate and approriate words, expressions and body language.

· Interpreting and understanding another’s point of view.

Category 2. How to build good relationships. Skills include:

· Listening respectively to another’s point of view even if it disagrees with yours and taking it into consideration when making decisions.

· Interrupting and not reacting to stereotypes.

· Appreciating diverse cultures and groups of people. Respecting everyone’s customs and way of life.

· Being willing to help others.

· Sharing with others- including sharing thoughts and ideas and resources.

Category 3. How to act cooperatively. This is related to Category 2, but an additional skill is learning how to work in groups and how to support each other. Giving up competitive behaviour will be important.

Category 4. Resolving conflict and solving problems. Skills include:

· Reasoning skills- to understand a problem and come up with appropriate alternative solutions.

· Controlling anger.

· Being able to separate the person form the pattern of behaviour.

· Negotiating skills.

It would be very difficult for a child to learn social skills if he did not possess certain qualities such as courage, honesty, self-control, high self-esteem and self-worth, and complete respect for self and others. The best way for our children to learn these is by living them. Adults can create the environment for our children to live them. Adults must express their love through words and appropriate physical touch. They must also allow the children to express their own thoughts and feelings. And not just allow expression but be willing to hold discussions with them about the importance of feelings and the consequences of certain “un-social “ behaviours. Reading books with children about feelings and social skills helps them to identify and understand connections between human beings and relationships.

Social skills re important for being part of any community- school ,family, neighbourhood-therefore children should be given opportunities to take an active part in the family and other groups. They should be included in making decisions (especially when the decision affects them) and family discussions. Helping at home and at school builds self-confidence, a sense of worthiness and positive relationships in children. In order for children to learn these lessons well adults must be good models themselves of all that they are hoping that the child will learn. They must be clear in their guidelines and be consistent in their approach and in dealing with situations.

The higher the expectation s that are held out for the child the more willing he is to live up to these expectations.